A Liberal's Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives
To My Conservative Brothers and Sisters,
I know you are dismayed and disheartened at the results of last
week's election. You're worried that the country is heading toward a very bad
place you don't want it to go. Your 12-year Republican Revolution has ended
with so much yet to do, so many promises left unfulfilled. You are in a funk,
and I understand.
Well, cheer up, my friends! Do not despair. I have good news for
you. I, and the millions of others who are now in charge with our Democratic
Congress, have a pledge we would like to make to you, a list of promises that
we offer you because we value you as our fellow Americans. You deserve to know
what we plan to do with our newfound power -- and, to be specific, what we will
do to you and for you.
Thus, here is our Liberal's Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives:
Dear Conservatives and Republicans,
I, and my fellow signatories, hereby make these promises to you:
1. We will always respect you for your conservative beliefs. We
will never, ever, call you "unpatriotic" simply because you disagree
with us. In fact, we encourage you to dissent and disagree with us.
2. We will let you marry whomever you want, even when some of us
consider your behavior to be "different" or "immoral." Who
you marry is none of our business. Love and be in love -- it's a wonderful
gift.
3. We will not spend your grandchildren's money on our personal
whims or to enrich our friends. It's your checkbook, too, and we will balance
it for you.
4. When we soon bring our sons and daughters home from
5. When we make
6. Even though you have opposed environmental regulation, when we
clean up our air and water, we, the Democratic majority, will let you, too,
breathe the cleaner air and drink the purer water.
7. Should a mass murderer ever kill 3,000 people on our soil, we
will devote every single resource to tracking him down and bringing him to
justice. Immediately. We will protect you.
8. We will never stick our nose in your bedroom or your womb. What
you do there as consenting adults is your business. We
will continue to count your age from the moment you were born, not the moment
you were conceived.
9. We will not take away your hunting guns. If you need an
automatic weapon or a handgun to kill a bird or a deer, then you really aren't
much of a hunter and you should, perhaps, pick up another sport. We will make
our streets and schools as free as we can from these weapons and we will
protect your children just as we would protect ours.
10. When we raise the minimum wage, we will pay you -- and your
employees -- that new wage, too. When women are finally paid what men make, we
will pay conservative women that wage, too.
11. We will respect your religious beliefs, even when you don't
put those beliefs into practice. In fact, we will actively seek to promote your
most radical religious beliefs ("Blessed are the poor," "Blessed
are the peacemakers," "Love your enemies," "It is easier
for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the
kingdom of God," and "Whatever you did for one of the least of these
brothers of mine, you did for me."). We will let people in other countries
know that God doesn't just bless
12. We will not tolerate politicians who are corrupt and who are
bought and paid for by the rich. We will go after any elected leader who puts
him or herself ahead of the people. And we promise you we will go after the
corrupt politicians on our side FIRST. If we fail to do this, we need you to
call us on it. Simply because we are in power does not give us the right to
turn our heads the other way when our party goes astray. Please perform this
important duty as the loyal opposition.
I promise all of the above to you because this is your country,
too. You are every bit as American as we are. We are all in this together. We
sink or swim as one. Thank you for your years of service to this country and
for giving us the opportunity to see if we can make things a bit better for our
300 million fellow Americans -- and for the rest of the world.
Signed,
Michael Moore
mmflint@aol.com
(Click here to sign
the pledge)
www.michaelmoore.com
P.S. Please feel free to pass this on.